Maximum Ride: The MacGyver Experiment
by NinthFeather
Summary: Maximum Ride meets MacGyver. There will be mullets, bird kids, and general awesomeness. Rated T for Erasers and the violence that seems to accompany them. Mild Max/Fang.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I suddenly had a desire to write this fanfic, just because it's such a weird setup. Mostly, I just wanted to see MacGyver react to the bird-kids. This takes place during __SOF__, before the flock leaves California., and during the third season of MacGyver. However, the whole thing, in real time, is set in the 2000s, because that's about the time of __SOF__, and McGvyer is still going to be the same age, because '80s action heroes don't age. And no, MacGyver is not paired with anyone, not even Dr. Martinez. James Patterson owns Max and Co., Paramount owns MacGyver._

Chapter 1

MacGyver, was, as usual, not where he wanted to be. In this case, where he didn't want to be was a dimly lit lab in an Itex Corporation facility in California. The Phoenix Foundation had sent him there to investigate rumors of illegal genetic experimentation. Unfortunately, Itex didn't like investigation.

Two unnaturally strong men who looked like male models had dragged him here moments after he'd infiltrated the facility. By his reckoning, he'd been here for at least a day without anyone checking on him. The Phoenix Foundation would certainly send someone after him soon. But if he, one of the Foundation's best field agents, had been captured so easily, how was he supposed to get out?

Not that he hadn't tried to get out on his own. He had thought that a lab would have something he could use to get himself out. Unfortunately, the lab was completely empty. All the chemicals, down to the cleaning solutions, had been removed. MacGyver had tried to use the tables in the room to break down the door, but it seemed reinforced, as if the room was designed to contain someone with extraordinary strength. For once, MacGyver needed backup.

* * *

I love the way the wind feels in my hair. And in my feathers.

Hint-- this is the part where you gasp and say, "Feathers!?" Or not really. I mean, there was already one book in this series-- get with it! Geez!

Just to make sure you were paying attention, I won't introduce anyone. Figure it out yourself!

Anyway, the Flock and I were flying over California, just happy to be together and not in cages. Believe me, for us, that's big.

So, things were going pretty well. Which means something had to go wrong, and soon.

That something was the Voice. Just when I least wanted to hear from it, it piped up.

_You have to go back to the School, Max, _it said.

"Heck, no!" I said aloud. Bad idea, there. As if the Flock wasn't already convinced that I was insane….

_The School has captured a man named MacGyver. He can help you save the world, but only if you get him out_, the Voice continued.

"What is it, Max?" Fang asked.

"The Voice wants us to spring some guy with a weird name out of the School," I said.

"You mean we have to go back?" Nudge whined. "I don't want to go back! I mean, we just escaped, and they would've killed us if the hawks hadn't helped, and…."

"Calm down, Nudge," I said. "We aren't going anywhere."

_Max, do you want the world to be destroyed? _the Voice asked.

_No-- I mean-- I-- _I replied.

_Go_, the Voice said.

I decided that arguing with the Voice in my head was sort of pointless, and so we headed to the School.

* * *

MacGyver blinked as light flooded the lab. A teenage girl with long blonde hair stood, silhouetted in the doorway.

"Get up," she said.

"Huh?" MacGyver asked intelligently.

"We're breaking you out," the girl said. "Now let's move. This place is crawling with Erasers."

"Erasers?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to help me save the world? Give me a break!"

MacGyver was utterly confused, but he got up anyway, and followed the girl.

The girl made two rights and a left, and then stopped in the middle of a hallway. Seconds later, she and MacGyver were joined by five others, all even younger than the girl. There was an older boy with dark hair and eyes, and another with strawberry blond hair. Unless MacGyver missed his guess, the second boy was blind. There was also a girl with black hair, chocolate brown skin, and a preteen's fashion sense, and two young kids, both blond-haired and blue-eyed. The older one was a boy with hair like a chick's down, the younger was a curly-haired girl.

"Let's get out of here," the teenage girl said.

The group ran through the maze of hallways to a door.

"All right, everyone, up and away," the girl said as soon as they got outside. "Fang, help me with the dead weight."

The dark-haired boy nodded.

The kids spread out, the little blond boy grabbing the blind one's hand.

Then, they spread their wings.

MacGyver gaped. Somehow, these kids had real wings, wings twice as long as they were high. Working wings, as he realized when the first of the kids sprang into the air.

Suddenly, the teen girl grabbed one of his arms, and the dark-haired boy grabbed the other. Before MacGyver could even react, they were airborne.

* * *

"What do you have in that jacket of yours? Rocks?" I asked as we flew away from Itex.

"You can fly," the man said, dazed.

"No freaking duh," I said. "If I couldn't, we'd be in trouble right now, don't ya think?"

"You can fly," the man repeated.

"Well, you aren't the brightest star in the sky, are you?" I said. This guy was going to help me save the world? Yeah, right. Some time for the Voice to develop a sense of humor.

* * *

NinthFeather: Before you ask, I am not entirely sure why I wanted to write this. It just seemed like fun. I don't know if I'll finish it or not.

Max: You're kidding!

MacGyver: What?

NinthFeather: Sorry to leave you hanging-- literally, in your case, MacGyver.

Max: Bad pun…ears bleeding…

MacGyver: Who writes your show? That wasn't half bad.

NinthFeather: R&R, people! See ya!


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry for the wait. Still don't own anyone's copyright. Enjoy!_

Chapter 2

About an hour later, the two winged kids finally put MacGyver down. They were in a forest. The rest of the children landed with them.

"Gazzy, Ig, go get firewood. Nudge, make sure we're alone," the blonde girl said.

The strawberry-blond boy, and the little blond one headed into the trees, while the black-haired one reopened her wings and leapt upward, wings twice as large as her unfurling as she rose.

"Don't go too far!" The blonde called.

The black-haired one paused mid-flight, nodded, and then flew off.

"What do we do with the eighties throwback?" the black-haired boy asked.

It took MacGyver a few moments to realize that he was talking about him.

"Guess we'd better figure out what sort of nutjob we picked up," the blonde said.

The two of them walked over to him.

MacGyver smiled. "I'm MacGyver. I think I owe you one."

"Maximum Ride," the girl said, extending a hand. "Call me Max. This is Fang," she added, pointing to the black-haired boy."

MacGyver shook her hand, and raised an eyebrow. What kind of names were those? If it wasn't for the wings, he would be wondering if these kids were just a bunch of runaways.

"Why were you in the School?" Max demanded.

"The School?"'

"That lab building."

MacGyver was unused to being interrogated by preteens. "Why is that any of your business?"

"Because we just saved your-"

"Leather jacket," Fang interrupted. "Remember, Angel's here."

The little blonde girl looked up, apparently at her name. With those big blue eyes and that blonde hair, she looked the part.

MacGyver sighed. "I work for the Phoenix Foundation-"

"The what?" Max asked.

"It's a nonprofit foundation," MacGyver said. "We do a lot of environmental work. We also take some jobs from the government. My boss, Pete, sent me to look into some rumors about genetic engineering taking place at that facility. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Fang stiffened.

"That's none of your business!" Max snapped.

MacGyver ran a hand through his hair. "Look," he said. "I don't want to make any trouble for you. If you want me to leave right now, I will."

Max rolled her eyes. "I wish. But it looks like we might need your help."

"My help?"

The black-haired girl landed lightly beside me. Her wings folded into her back as she turned to face Max. "Erasers. From the southwest. Coming fast," she said.

"I think that's the shortest thing you've ever said, Nudge," Fang said, a smile playing on his lips.

"Hey!" Nudge complained.

"Did you say Erasers?" the little blond boy said, as he and the strawberry blonde ran toward them, kindling still clutched in their hands.

"Okay, Gazzy, Iggy, put down the sticks," Max said. "Nudge. How many?"

"Twelve, I think,"

Max swore.

"What _is_ an Eraser?" MacGyver asked.

Suddenly, the sound of wood breaking tore through the air. A nearby tree crashed to the ground, sending tremors across the forest. Then, a number of shapes emerged from the shadows.

They were gigantic, all of them over six feet tall. For the most part, they seemed human, but there was a lupine quality to their faces, and not lupine as in the flower. Lupine as in wolf-like. Their eyes glowed red, and one of them even had green hair. They were covered in the kind of muscles one only expected to see on professional wrestlers, and their teeth…well, MacGyver suddenly wished he hadn't seen _Dracula_.

"Those are Erasers," Max said matter-of-factly, as the entire group backed away slowly.

MacGyver thought the fact that he hadn't yet begun screaming like a girl was rather impressive.

"Up and a-" I yelled, stopping short as I realized that the leather jacket-wearing wonder didn't have wings.

"Run!" I said quickly.

We took off without even looking back, weaving through trees to make ourselves difficult to follow. MacGyver was as fast as the rest of us, and surprisingly agile for someone who'd never been genetically modified.

"There are your rumors of genetic engineering!" Fang said, gesturing toward the Erasers.

"I've always heard that rumors travelled fast, but I never believed it until now," MacGyver said.

"Oh. My. Gosh," Nudge breathed. "That was the worst pun I have ever heard."

"Going…into…shock…" Iggy gasped, pantomiming choking as he ran.

I leapt over a half-rotten log and hit both Iggy and MacGyver over the head in midair.

"Okay, guys, new rules," I said. "One, no being overdramatic while trying to run from Erasers who are trying to kill us."

"What about the rest of the time?" Gazzy wanted to know.

"It's fine then," I said.

"And number two?" Fang asked.

"No puns. Ever."

* * *

NinthFeather: Well, I finally finished this chapter. I hope you'll give me some reviews and—

Max: What do you think you're doing?

NinthFeather: Writing a fanfic. Why?

Max: You trapped me in here with him.

NinthFeather: And…?

Max: HE MAKES PUNS!

NinthFeather: And now, we have confirmed that Max actually does have a weakness! Who knew? See you next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I actually updated this fic (cue Hallelujah Chorus). I know I haven't for a while. Sorry to those of you who really like it, but it was just something I thought of randomly one day. If you keep reviewing, I will probably update at some point, but if not, I probably won't finish._

Chapter 3

I swore. The Erasers were catching up. Never a good thing. Plus, have I ever mentioned how much I hate having to run for my life in heavily wooded areas? The stupid tree branches kept flying in my face, and my foot kept getting caught on roots.

Not that the Erasers were having similar problems. They were pretty much tearing off any tree-branches that got in their way. And then throwing them at us. I hate Erasers.

"Hey, if I created a distraction, could you get us out of here?" MacGyver asked suddenly.

"Yeah, of course, but-" I broke off.

MacGyver was kicking a nearby tree. He paused for a few seconds, then placed his boot on the trunk. The rest of the Flock had stopped, mid-run, to stare at him. Or, in Iggy's case, to wonder why everyone else had stopped.

"What the heck do you think you're-" I demanded.

MacGyver cut me off. "Wait for it…wait for it…"

The Erasers were only feet behind us.

"Now!" he shouted, pushing the trunk with his foot. To my surprise, it cracked and fell over, crushing the Erasers.

"All right!" Gazzy shouted.

"Oh my gosh, are you a superhero or something?" Nudge gushed. "Because, I mean, you knocked down a tree, and I can't even do that, even though I'm lots stronger than other people and-"

MacGyver laughed.. "That tree was dead, and the trunk was rotted out- I could tell by the sound it made when I kicked it. Anyone could have knocked it down, even little Angel here."

Angel beamed at him.

Fang and I exchanged a look. How would MacGyver react if he found out that Angel was actually stronger than him?

"I'm guessing that won't slow them down much, so we should probably get out of here," MacGyver suggested.

Fang nodded. "Let's go," he said.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

MacGyver sat at a picnic table outside of a MacDonald's, trying to catch his breath. This was quickly becoming one of those days he shouldn't have woken up for.

After he'd managed to slow down those Eraser things, he'd followed the winged kids out of the forest at a breakneck pace. The youngest one couldn't have been much more than seven, but he was pretty sure she was faster than even the people he'd met when he'd been running marathons.

He was also a little confused as to how they'd gotten out of the forest. The kids all seemed to know exactly where they were going, without even discussing it. It had taken all he had to keep up with them, so he hadn't bothered asking where they were going, but now he wondered how they'd known, exactly. Not only that, but they'd seemed equally certain about the location of the nearest MacDonald's, and absolutely dead set on going there next.

"Time to eat!" Max announced, placing a tray of fast food on the table. She had two burgers, three large fries, an apple pie pastry, and two large sodas.

"Is that all for you?" MacGyver asked, staring a little.

"What, did you think I was buying your food?" Max asked. "If you want something, go buy it yourself."

The rest of the kids sat down as well, all with equally overloaded trays. Angel, in particular, had apparently opted for four Happy Meals and a milkshake. Nudge had five salads and a yogurt pafait. Fang was eating four cheeseburgers, two large fries, and a large soda. MacGyver wasn't even sure how many orders of chicken nuggets Iggy and Gazzy had between them, but it had to be at least ten. They'd also apparently asked for every dipping sauce the restaurant offered, and were currently attempting to mix them into some sort of ultimate dipping sauce.

"Do you always eat like this?" MacGyver couldn't help asking.

"Mm-hmm," Gazzy said through a mouthful of chicken nugget.

Max took a sip of her soda. "We have faster metabolisms than most people," she explained. "Comes with the wings."

"You should get something to eat, too," Angel suggested. "A Happy Meal. And you can give me the toy."

MacGyver felt the sudden desire to go and get a Happy Meal.

"Angel!" Max scolded. "If you want another Happy Meal, I'll buy you one. But you shouldn't try to control people like that."

MacGyver blinked, the sudden desire for a Happy Meal gone. _What does she mean by control? _he wondered to himself.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He picked it up.

"MacGyver, where are you?" Peter Thorton's voice demanded irately.

"Calm down, Pete, I've been a little busy," MacGyver said.

"Calm down?" Pete demanded. "Give me one good reason why I should calm down. You were supposed to call an hour ago!"

"An hour ago, I was locked in some basement room at Itex," MacGyver said.

"Well, did you get out?" Pete demanded.

"Yeah," MacGyver said. "Also, I can pretty much confirm those rumors of illegal genetic experimentation."

"How's that?"

"I think I might be watching the results eat enough fries to single-handedly fund the MacDonald's franchise."

"Told you he'd figure it out," he heard Iggy say. "You owe me three dollars."

"That's not fair!" Gazzy grumbled.

"You're kidding!" Pete exclaimed. "They've been experimenting on humans?"

"Seems like," MacGyver said. "I haven't really gotten a lot of details yet."

"So Itex is up to something," Pete said.

"Oh, it gets better," MagGyver said. "There are also freaky werewolf-looking creatures guarding the lab. The kids call them Erasers."

"Kids?" Pete asked.

"Yeah, about that," MacGyver said. "The proof of the illegal genetic experimentation? It's a bunch of kids with wings."

"Kids?" Pete demanded.

"You know, now would be a really good time to take some of that blood pressure medicine," MacGyver said.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I sipped the last of my soda and cursed to myself. Note to self: next time the Voice tells me that some random person is going to help me save the world, and aforementioned person is a pun-making, leather-jacket-wearing guy with a mullet who works for a nonprofit I've never heard of, don't get involved.

This was going to be a mess.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

NinthFeather: By way of explanation, I figured that in a fic set in the 2000s, MacGyver would have a cell phone. Also, it saved me the trouble of writing in a random pay phone.

MacGyver: *still staring at all of that food* Are you actually going to eat all of that?

Iggy: Why wouldn't we?

MacGyver: People don't usually eat that much food in one sitting….

Gazzy: We do.

Fang: You try flying and see how hungry you are.

MacGyver: Good point.

NinthFeather: I'm glad some of you are enjoying this fic. If you want me to update, please review. Bye!


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Oh my gosh, I'm actually updating this thing again. I'm sure some of you had given up hope. Well, if you want someone to thank, thank Hideout Writer, who, after reviewing this fic, decided to write a McGyver/MR crossover of their own, called Maximum McGyver, which you all need to go and read, since it has a much higher likelihood of actually being updated at regular intervals than this one. Also, Hideout Writer is planning on making McGyver an Avian American, while I'm planning on leaving him human, so the storylines should turn out to be fairly different. Anyhow, I was inspired to write another chapter after reading the first chapter of thier fic. So, please enjoy the new chapter and review, and then go and read Hideout Writer's fic and review it! If you don't, Angel will use mind control to make McGyver show up at your house and cover your computer in duct tape so you can no longer use ! *evil laugh*_

Chapter 4

Pete decided that MacGyver quite possibly had a point about the blood pressure medications. That short phone conversation had somehow managed to exhaust him completely.

Then again, that short phone conversation had involved an awful lot of surprises. When Pete had heard rumors about Itex, he'd figured they were making recombinant animals, or, at most, humans with minor modifications like unusual coloring or slightly increased intelligence. He would have never expected them to attempt human-animal hybrids, especially not human-avian hybrids. The two species weren't exactly genetically similar. The chances of success in such an experiment had to have been infinitesimal.

And yet, they had successfully created six such hybrids, all of which had survived the genetic modifications, and could actually fly! As well as make fun of MacGyver's outdated fashion sense, apparently. Pete had never heard MacGyver this annoyed about a situation that didn't involve Jack Dalton.

Pete had given MacGyver the location of a contact in California who owned a used-car lot and would be willing to lend him transportation. He had told MacGyver that he wanted him to stay with the kids to make sure Itex didn't recapture them. And there certainly was a danger of that. Though, if Pete was honest with himself, he would admit that his reasons had more to do with MacGyver's amusing annoyance with the situation and less to do with worry about the "bird-kids", as MacGyver described them. After all, from what MacGyver had told him, they could take care of themselves.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

MacGyver, meanwhile, was walking along the side of the road with the bird-kids, wondering what he had done to tick Pete off. This had to be a punishment for something…the time he'd copiloted for Jack's airline and gotten captured by jewel thieves, maybe? Or the time he'd almost resigned from the Phoenix Foundation? No, that couldn't be it, either. He couldn't think of anything he'd done to deserve _this_.

"So, is MacGyver, like, your full name?" Nudge asked. "Oh, are you like those celebrities who only have one name, you know, like Madonna or Cher? I always wanted a name like that! I was thinking Tiffany. Or maybe Crystal. Or Tiffany-Crystal! Doesn't that sound like a name for a movie star? So is that why you only have one name? Or is it like both parts of your name are mixed together, like maybe your actual name is Mack Gyver, only you thought it sounded better as one word?"

"My name is Angus. Angus MacGyver," MacGyver ground out. Nudge had a future with the CIA as an interrogator, he was sure. Unless, of course, she still wanted to change her name to Tiffany-Crystal and become a movie star.

Meanwhile, Iggy and Gazzy burst out laughing.

"You're named after a hamburger," Gazzy managed to gasp between howls of laughter. "And I thought my name was bad!"

McGyver groaned.

"Knock it off, guys," Max barked. "It's not his fault that his parents had a twisted sense of humor." The blonde girl was barely suppressing a giggle by the end of her speech.

"So, Gazzy's your actual name?" MacGyver asked curiously. "I thought it was a nickname or something."

"His actual, full name is The Gasman," Iggy said.

"You have to pronounce the "The" like it has a capital letter," Gazzy put in.

MacGyver was a little unclear on how one actually did that, but he was distracted from asking by their arrival at the used-car dealership that Pete had told him about.

"Wow!" Nudge exclaimed. "Look at all the cars! There's even a pink one!"

"Max, can I drive one?" Gazzy asked excitedly.

"Gazzy, you don't have a license," Max said firmly.

"But you drove a van once, and you don't have a license, either…" Gazzy whined.

MacGyver stared at Max. She was, what, fourteen or fifteen? And she had driven a car?

Max's expression was that of a deer in the middle of a road with a semi-truck roaring toward it. "Gazzy, that was an emergency, and I'm not going to do it again unless I have to, understand? Besides, remember how me driving turned out?"

The blood drained out of Gazzy's face.

"You want that to happen again?" Max asked.

Gazzy shook his head quickly.

MacGyver was absolutely lost.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Iggy, meanwhile, was content to stand off to the side with Fang and listen to the younger kids' enthusiasm, Max's attempts at control, and MacGyver's exasperation.

"Heaven help us if Gazzy ever actually ends up driving," he deadpanned.

Fang grunted something that sounded like agreement. Iggy rolled his eyes. Did he really think that his strong, silent spiel was going to get him anywhere with Max? It was obvious even to the Flock members who weren't mind readers like Angel was that the two oldest bird kids had it bad for each other. But were either of them going to actually make any moves? Of course not.

A soft ticking sound, like a clock's, interrupted his thoughts. It sounded familiar, but none of the Flock had a watch. Was it coming from MacGyver, maybe? No, he didn't have a watch, either. So where was the ticking coming from?

Suddenly, it came to him. "Max," he said, his throat going dry.

"What, Iggy?" Max asked evenly.

"A bomb," he said. "There's a bomb here." He pointed in the direction of the noise. "I can hear it."

Max let loose with an impressive string of curse words.

"Not around Angel," Fang said calmly.

Fang was like a brother to Iggy. That being said, sometimes Iggy wanted to slap him for being so danged stoic.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I went into "protect the Flock" mode immediately.

"Iggy, Gazzy, go try to find it," I ordered. "Everyone else, up and away and as far from here as you can get NOW!"

"I might be able to—" McGyver started.

"Okay, go help," I said. McGyver took off after Iggy and Gazzy. At that moment, most of my mind was occupied with panicking, but a small slice of it took a few minutes off to laugh at the fact that a guy around twice my age had just taken an order from me without even stopping to think about it.

Fang, Nudge, and Angel were poised for takeoff, wings out and all, but were hesitating. I could tell they didn't want to leave the rest of us here.

"Go on, go!" I shouted. "You want to get blown up?"

"But Max, what'll we do if you guys—we're not a flock without all six of us, isn't that what you said?" Nudge protested.

"That's no reason to—" I broke off as I heard a sharp intake of breath from Iggy. I turned around, expecting the worst. Every nerve in my body was on full alert, and every muscle was tensed in preparation to throw the others out of danger if I had to.

I really hoped I wouldn't have to.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

MacGyver heard Iggy inhale sharply. The two of them and Gazzy had found the bomb, inside one of the sedans near the back of the lot. Now that they were closer, MacGyver could hear ticking. The older of the two bird-kids had been the first to approach the bomb, his pale fingers playing across its surface with the practiced grace of a pianist's.

"Big Boy?" the strawberry blond gasped in disbelief. "Is that you?"

"Oh, my gosh, it is!" Gazzy chimed in, sounding oddly happy considering that they were discussing a bomb.

"Wow, never thought I'd see another Big Boy," Iggy continued. "Did they use the Mickey Mouse clock?"

"Yeah," Gazzy said excitedly.

"Um…'Big Boy'?" MacGyver asked. "And shouldn't we be disarming it?"

"Good point," Iggy said. "Help me out, Gazz. And MacGyver, you should probably sound the all clear before Max orders the others to go to South America or something. I know Big Boy like the back of my hand. This won't take long."

"Right," MacGyver said. He ran back over to the others. They seemed to be arguing, but they stopped when MacGyver showed up.

"Iggy says it's fine, that he and Gazzy can disarm it," MacGyver said. "They were calling it 'Big Boy'."

"Wasn't that what they nicknamed the bomb they blew up the cabin with?" Fang asked Max.

"Yeah," Max replied. "I can't believe they used my alarm clock for that! Although, if it had to get destroyed, at least it took some Erasers with it."

MacGyver's brain, which had been slightly overwhelmed by the threat of being blown to smithereens, finally caught up with the conversation.

"Wait, you let the—what is he, eight?—the eight-year old and the blind kid make bombs?" MacGyver asked, dumbfounded.

"No, I try to stop them, but they keep sneaking around behind my back and getting explosive materials from who-knows-where," Max replied in a tone of exasperation. "Relax, they know what they're doing."

"Got that right," Iggy said, coming up behind the group with Gazzy close behind. "That bomb was a perfect replica of the one we used to blow up those Erasers in Colorado…"

"…they even used a Mickey Mouse clock like Max's…" Gazzy put in.

Max's eyebrow twitched.

"…so of course it was easy to disarm," Iggy finished proudly.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Max asked, turning to Fang.

"Warning?" Fang asked.

"Definitely," Max stated. "They're trying to scare us off, but not kill us. We must be doing something they don't want us to do."

"Is 'they' Itex?" MacGyver asked.

"Yeah and no," Max said. "Some of the people there are scientist who just think we're experiments and want us back to disse—"

She noticed Nudge's face turning green and amended, "to study. Butv there are other people there, too, mostly higher-ups, and they have some sort of weird plans for us that seem to involve jerking us around constantly. It's apparently supposed to prepare me to save the world or something."

"You mentioned saving the world when you broke me out," MacGyver said. "Does that have something to do with what you just told me?"

"No, we hauled you out of the School because the dang Voice in my head wouldn't shut up…" Max trailed off. "Um, forget I said that, actually."

MacGyver stared at her. The voice in her head told her to save him? He'd heard theories about genetic manipulation and its possible effects on the subject's mental state, but Max and the others had seemed perfectly normal until now. Great, now he had to deal with a mentally unstable mutant pre-teen, as well as five regular old avian-human recombinant kids.

"Max isn't mentally unstable," Angel protested.

"And how would you know?" MacGyver asked, deciding to humor the curly-haired blonde.

"Because I can read her mind," Angel said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

MacGyver certainly hadn't seen that one coming.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

NinthFeather: Oh, MacGyver, you are in so far over your head…

MacGyver: I can't believe you are doing this.

NinthFeather: What, messing with your sense of reality? Have you been here for the last few chapters?

MacGyver: That's not really what I was referring to. *Is wearing one of NinthFeather's shirts, which reads "Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" and has a smiley face with duct tape over its mouth on it. His face is a very interesting shade of red.*

Max & Flock: *laughing uncontrollably*

NinthFeather: Can't you just see him wearing that, though? Hee hee! Please review, and don't forget to check out Hideout Writer's fic, too! Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Hideout Writer and I have an update agreement now for our MR/MacGyver crossovers—I write one chapter, Hideout Writer writes one chapter. What that means to all of you is that I'm actually going to be updating this fic on a semi-regular basis, and that I'm actually going to finish it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go figure out an overarching plotline. Anyhow, have fun!_

Chapter 5

MacGyver's mind, was, after all, what made him unique above all else. His singular view of the world was what gave him the ability to look at a pile of trash and see materials that he could shape into whatever the situation demanded. It was his mind that had gotten him out of almost every tight spot he'd ever gotten into. And currently, a six-year-old's words threatened to shut it down completely.

"You can what now?" MacGyver managed to choke out.

"I can read her mind," Angel repeated evenly. "I can read anyone's mind. Yours is nice. There's lots of mechanical stuff and explosives in it."

MacGyver's gaze shifted to the older bird-kids, who were looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Angel, honey, stop telling Mr. MacGyver stories," Max said carefully.

MacGyver caught the blonde's eye. "She's not, though, is she?" he asked. "She's telling the truth."

Max didn't respond.

Finally, Fang did. "Yeah, she is. How could you tell?"

MacGyver's eyebrow quirked. "I have a friend who's practically a compulsive liar, so I've gotten pretty good at knowing when someone's putting me on and when they're not. Angel was being completely honest."

Max smiled crookedly. "Okay, then. Do you want the whole truth?"

MacGyver nodded.

"The whitecoats at the School didn't stop with giving us wings," Max said. "They gave us other freaky abilities, too. Like Angel's mind-reading. There are other things, too. Gazzy can imitate voices perfectly, and Nudge can tell you about the last person to touch an object just by touching it herself."

"And you have a voice in your head?" MacGyver asked.

"Yeah," Max said sheepishly. "I don't really know how it got there, and half the time it feeds me lines that sound like they came off of a fortune cookie, but when it actually talks straight, it's usually pretty helpful."

"Helpful?" MacGyver asked dubiously.

"Hey, you should be grateful. Like I said, it was the Voice's idea to save you, not mine. If it were up to me, the Flock would be halfway across the country by now and you'd still be in Itex's basement."

"What happened to Max, savior of innocents?" Fang asked, the corner of his mouth inching upwards.

"He annoys me," Max huffed.

"So you were going to leave him in Itex's basement to have who-knows-what experiments done on him, because he annoys you?"

Max flushed, crossed her arms, and began staring intently at a speck of dirt near her left shoe.

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As the Flock squeezed into the van MacGyver's contact had picked out for them, Fang allowed himself a small laugh. Max was so cute when she was grumpy!

Then, the reality of what he'd just thought hit him, and he stopped that train of thought right where it was. Max was one of his flock, like Iggy or Nudge. Only, not like Iggy or Nudge at all, because he didn't feel a rush of warmth in his chest every time he looked at them.

He shook his head, hoping that the motion would somehow clear out the hormones, as MacGyver started the car.

"Okay, we're heading the headquarters of the Pheonix Foundation," MacGyver said. "My boss, Pete, should be able to get you guys a temporary place to stay until the whole 'saving the world' gig starts. That all right with you?"

Fang saw the emotions flicker across Max's face: suspicion turning into anxiety and then turning pensive, before a look of calm determination finally settled in her chocolate-brown eyes.

"Let's go," Maximum Ride said, the commanding tone in her voice making Fang's heart speed up, just slightly.

Angel looked over at Fang. "You should really just tell her."

This time, it was Fang's turn to blush.

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I stared out of the passenger's side window at the line of black cars following us, and caught the gleam of a gun barrel sticking out of one of the windows. We just couldn't catch a break, could we? Geez, we'd only been driving for about a half an hour!

"We've got company," I've announced. "And judging from the guns, they're not here to complement MacGyver on his accurate recreation of eighties fashion."

Iggy said something I was going to have to kill him for saying later. Okay, just 'cause I swear doesn't mean he can.

"Okay, I'm going to see if we can lose them," MacGyver said. "Everybody strapped in?"

"Of course we are," Fang said flatly. "Do you think we're idiots?"

MacGyver rolled his eyes. "Max, I think I hurt your boyfriend's pride. See if you can find a band-aid for him while I get us out of here."

And with that, he turned the steering wheel to the left _hard_, practically throwing us into the other lane, and then _smashed_ the gas pedal into the floor of the car.

I swear, my stomach turned inside out.

MacGyver wrenched the steering wheel to the right and sent us back into the right lane, now with multiple vehicles between us and our pursuers, before pressing down on the gas again until we were far enough ahead of the cars in the left lane to pass them. Then, she shifted the car back into the left lane with such force that I swear the car shook.

Nudge shrieked the whole time—whether she was actually scared or was pretending it was a rollercoaster, I couldn't tell you, but, boy, was she loud.

"You're an even scarier driver than Max!" Gazzy cried excitedly. "I want _you _to teach me how to drive!"

Iggy's normally pale skin was definitely more greenish at the moment. "I'm glad I'm near a window," he said, a definite tremble in his voice.

"You think that was bad?" MacGyver laughed. "You should try flying on a plane when my friend Jack is piloting. It's guaranteed to scar you for life or your money back."

He shot us a cocky grin, the kind that I usually give people, and that usually sends shivers down their spines. To my surprise, I felt a slight shiver of my own. There was something dangerous about the light in MacGyver's eyes. Eighties throwback or not, the guy was a force to be reckoned with.

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NinthFeather: Hi everyone! Guess what time it is? 10:13! In other words, way too late for me to be writing.

Max: *rolls eyes* And yet….

NinthFeather: Hey, I said I'd update, so I'm updating!

Max: And now that you've gotten to the character interaction, you can't think of a single funny thing to write, can you?

NinthFeather: ….um….

Max: *raises eyebrow* You're pathetic.

NinthFeather: Yeah, but I'm lots of fun!

Max: *raises eyebrow more*

NinthFeather: And I can write you out of the fic if you don't start cooperating.

Max: Okay, backing down now….

NinthFeather: The review button's down there! See you all later! Oh, and by the way, if you also like the show M*A*S*H, I just started a crossover between it and an anime called Fullmetal Alchemist. The fic's called A Recurring Nightmare with Popcorn, so check it out if you're interested! See you next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: IT LIVES! You can thank Hideout Writer and his encouragement (read: nagging) for this chapter. Hopefully, you'll like it._

Chapter 6

"Can we do that again?" Gazzy asked for the fiftieth time.

MacGyver sighed. "No, I only did that because we were being chased," he explained. "And besides, we're almost at the Phoenix Foundation."

"Awww!" Gazzy complained.

"Gazzy, listen to the walking mullet," Max said irritably.

MacGyver had the sudden urge to bang his head on the steering wheel. It appeared that he'd been demoted from "eighties throwback."

"Ooh, is that it?" Nudge ask, pointing out of the window.

"Yep," Angel said. "It's exactly the same as the way it looks in MacGyver's head."

He wondered if the cherubic six-year old realized how creepy what she'd just said was.

"Max and the others don't think it's creepy!" Angel said indignantly.

"Um, actually…" Iggy started teasingly.

"Iggy!" Max and Angel scolded in unison.

MacGyver just sighed and said, "We're here."

He caught the stares that the other Phoenix employees gave him as he walked through the lobby with six noisy kids in tow. But as they continued in, he realized what he had first taken as disorganization was actually a careful disguise—as they chattered loudly, they changed position constantly, so that any attacker would have trouble picking out a single bird-kid to focus on. At any given moment, one of them was facing in each direction, so that there was no chance of anyone sneaking up on them.

And as they boarded the elevator that would take them up to Pete's office, MacGyver found himself wondering exactly what kind of lives these kids had lived up until this point, that they felt it necessary to be so cautious.

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_An elevator. Joy,_ I thought as I walked into the little rectangular death trap. _The preferred transportation method of everyone who grew up in a cage._

The flock filed in behind me, as hesitant as I was to spend an extended amount of time in an enclosed space.

My hands gripped the railing on the wall behind me tightly enough that I heard the metal groan. Fang shot me a look and I relaxed my grip. A little.

"Don't like elevators?" MacGyver asked casually.

"Not really," I managed, feeling my heartbeat speed up—and considering how fast it is usually, with the bird genes and all, that's not a good thing. I swore I could feel the elevator get smaller with every second that passed. Not to mention that the little dinging sound it made every time it hit a floor was making me want to punch something. Hard.

The rest of the Flock wasn't exactly living it up, either. Nudge was tapping her fingers on the wall impatiently as Iggy practiced some deep breathing exercises he'd seen on a TV show. Fang's normal stoic expression had deepened into a scowl, and his arms were crossed more tightly than usual. Angel had a good grip on my jacket, and Gazzy was as close to the doors as physically possible without actually blocking them.

MacGyver seemed to have noticed all of this, too, and he glanced at me, raising an eyebrow.

I suddenly became intensely interested in the elevator's carpeting. It was actually a nice shade of blue, and, more importantly, it wasn't about to ask me any questions I didn't want to answer.

When the doors finally opened, I let out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding in and practically flew out of the elevator. The only reason that I didn't actually fly was that the elevator was smaller than my wingspan.

The rest of the Flock was close behind me as I ran over to the windows that the elevator faced and looked out over the city and the open blue sky above it. I sighed, imagining the wind in my hair, and wondered why the heck I had agreed to any of this.

_The world is depending on you, Max,_ The Voice reminded me, ever-so-helpfully.

_Well, if it's depending on me to get back in that elevator, it's out of luck_, I snapped.

_You have to face your fears, Max_, the Voice said.

_It's not a fear, it's an intense dislike_, I thought, crossing my arms.

"Max, are you coming?" MacGyver called. I looked around, surprised, and saw that he and the Flock were several feet away, down a hallway lined with offices.

"Sorry!" I said, running to catch up.

Fang fell into step beside me as we walked through the hallway. "The Voice again?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. Some crap about facing my fears," I said dismissively.

"It has a point," Fang pointed out.

"Whose side are you on?" I huffed.

"I'm just saying that if you're going to save the world, you shouldn't let a little elevator slow you down," Fang said, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards slightly.

"Okay, so maybe you have a point, but still…" I started.

"MacGyver!" an unfamiliar voice shouted. "You said you were going to be here twenty minutes ago!"

"We ran into a little trouble," MacGyver said calmly. "Did you take those blood pressure medications?"

"Yes, I did," the voice grumbled. "Now how about you get in here and explain exactly what happened."

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Pete wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, exactly, when Mac had told him about the avian-human hybrids. But it sure as heck wasn't this.

The oldest of them was blonde and tall, with clear brown eyes and a stance that practically exuded leadership. At her side stood a black-haired, dark-eyed boy with a slight scowl on his face. His stance was that of a bodyguard. A strawberry blond boy in with unfocused eyes stood at her other side, holding the hand of a much smaller boy with wide blue eyes and fuzzy blonde hair. Both were tense, waiting for something. At her other side was a girl with chocolate-brown skin and eyes, and long black hair, her hand resting lightly on the shoulder of a young girl with blonde curls and blue eyes that seemed strangely deep for a girl so young. They, too, were standing at the ready, though for what, Pete couldn't tell.

Pete had the sudden feeling that this was a test. The look in the blonde girl's eyes was suspicious. She was waiting to see if he was a threat, and if she decided he was, the whole group of them would be gone before he could say "Stop!"

"My name is Pete Thorton," Pete said, getting up from behind his desk. "I work with MacGyver here at the Phoenix Foundation. You must be Max."

"That's right," the tall blonde said warily.

"There are two reasons that I wanted to talk to you," Pete said. "First, I'd like to find out more about what Itex has been doing, and you seem to know about it."

The suspicion in Max's eyes deepened. She whispered something, and the group closed in on itself, the older ones shifting into attack positions as the younger ones moved behind them.

"Secondly, I would like to know how exactly you managed to annoy Mac so much," Pete continued, watching surprise fill the kid's eyes. "I haven't seen him this upset over an assignment in years."

Another whisper from Max, and the kids relaxed visibly.

"Really?" the blond boy asked. "I thought maybe he was always this grumpy."

MacGyver, who was leaning against the wall at the back of the office, made a choking sound as Pete burst out laughing.

"Pete, aren't you the one who's always telling me to take things seriously?" MacGvyer demanded. "What the—"

"Max doesn't like it when you say that," the smaller blonde girl interrupted.

"…heck?" MacGyver finished lamely.

Max, meanwhile, was laughing loudly. "Angel, honey, it's all right if _he _says it; it's just that I don't want you to, okay?" she said, wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes.

"Okay," Angel said cheerily. She glanced at Max. "Mr. Pete is a nice person, Max. We can trust him."

And, oddly enough, this seemed to be enough for Max.

"We'll tell you about Itex," she said. "And about annoying 'the walking mullet.'"

MacGyver turned bright red as Pete burst out laughing again.

After he had calmed down, he said, "I know Max's name, but not everyone else's. Would you mind introducing yourselves?"

The black-haired girl raised her hand. "I'm Nudge! I'm the second oldest girl and I like fashion and singing but not eating meat because if you've ever seen hawks eat, it's really disgusting, so now I'm a vegetarian and also—"

"That's enough, Nudge," Max interrupted. She gave the black-haired boy a pointed look.

"I'm Fang," he said, his expression flat.

"My name is Angel," the blonde-haired girl said, looking up at Pete with wide blue eyes.

"I'm Iggy," the strawberry-blonde boy said. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, and I'm Gazzy!" the smaller blonde added.

"…Gazzy?" Pete asked.

"It's short for "The Gasman"!" Gazzy proclaimed.

"'Cuz his digestion doesn't always work right," Iggy clarified, holding his nose. The rest of the kids grimaced, as if remembering a particularly unpleasant experience.

"Your parents named you that?" Pete asked incredulously.

Deafening silence ensued.

"We…um…named ourselves," Max said, her tone suggesting a change of subject.

"So, do you have any other nicknames for MacGyver?" Pete asked, filing the odd reaction away for further examination later.

MacGyver groaned.

"Eighties throwback," Fang said, a slight smile on his face.

"Dead weight," Max said with a wicked grin.

"Does 'The Best Driver in the History of Everything' count as a nickname?" Gazzy asked.

Iggy turned slightly green. "Please, don't remind me of that."

Pete glanced at MacGyver.

"We were being tailed," MacGyver said evenly. His smile turned slightly dangerous. "I shook them off."

"Was that the 'trouble' you mentioned?" Pete asked.

"Pretty much," Mac said, in the tone he used when he was telling the truth, but not all of it.

"What is it?" Pete asked, staring at his friend.

Gazzy, meanwhile was scowling. "He left out Big Boy."

"It just proves that there's no hope for some people," Iggy said loftily.

"Big Boy?" Pete asked, turning his stare to the two kids.

"Our bomb," Iggy said in an oddly nostalgic voice.

"Oh, your…wait, YOUR WHAT?" Pete demanded.

He was going to need more of that heart medication.

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Max: I was beginning to think she was never going to finish this chapter.

MacGyver: Tell me about it.

Max: I mean, she started this fic way before that other one she works on all the time.

NinthFeather: Give me a break. I really like that one! Besides, I have a lot of homework and the Plot Bunny of Doom keeps getting longer.

MacGyver: The _what_ of _what_?

NinthFeather: The Plot Bunny of Doom. It started as a one-shot and got a little…out of control.

Max: And by out of control, you mean…?

NinthFeather: It's twenty-eight and a half pages long now.

*silence*

NinthFeather: I know I have a problem. Moving on…Once again, thank you to Hideout Writer for more-or-less forcing me to write this…oddly enough, I don't really mind. He's also updated his story Maximum MacGyver, and I strongly recommend it to anyone who is enjoying this.

HideoutWriter: Hey guys!

NinthFeather: Speak of the devil…What are you doing here again?

HideoutWriter: I'm the reason you're not trapped in this story…well, actually, you kind of are anyway, but I'm sure you'll get out eventually…

Max: (picks up a large stick)

MacGyver: (grabs duct tape)

NinthFeather: (grabs the Plot Bunny of Doom)

(everyone looks threanteningly at Hideout Writer)

HideoutWriter: I...think I'll be going now... (backs out)

NinthFeather: O-kay then. Anyway… if you liked the chapter, please review. I will write another one…I'm sure of it… sometime…I think…honestly, don't kill me if I forget to update for a while, please, I have lots of homework and stupid Plot Bunnies of Doom and…

Max: Your excuses are really pathetic.

NinthFeather: I know. But at least I'm entertaining.

MacGyver: You keep on telling yourself that.

(_Special A/N: Today's author's note was co-written with Hideout Writer. As to who wrote what, I'll give you a hint…all the pathetic excuses? Those are mine._)


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